Things are more beautiful than they've been in years.
What I've realized, is that there are moments between seconds that break rules and allow you to move on. And breath is embedded into the bigger scheme of things. Believe it or not.

Punctuation only exists to add more meaning to these wonderful words, not to constrict us.

I've also come to see that there's too much stock in promises from strangers, and that the major misleading factor is always within us.

And that apathy and the fight itself aren't that different; they fade into each other fluidly and most of the time we miss it. Neither are bad, nor are they good.

I've grown to respect the humble and walk away from those who are willing to tell you everything about themselves in one go.

And in this new year, I am no longer slave to what I've believed to be a solid destination. I am a stranger in many places, and a solid foundation does not even remotely compare to exploration.

But mostly, it's okay to let go of what's kept you moving forward - what's kept you alive and vibrant. Ongoing changes transform the things that drive us into the things that hold us down. Shifts in timing and motion force us to prune shriveled leaves for others to grow.

I will always love and adore who I was, what he made me, how I transformed my thought and myself, how I lived, how I paused, how I slept in comfort of a future on that mattress in that room with that window and that fire escape. His paintings, the fluttering of my papers and the smell of cloves and ashe.

I will never forget; I will steal these imbedded moments and examine them forever and always and eternally and these adjectives with their resilient contemporaries. I love you and I thank you and I am feeling truly finished. And happy.

Happy was never part of the picture. It was never a goal, and I suppose it still isn't. It's not a goal. It's a product of being at peace with the right decisions and the environment we inhabit. It's not complacency because there's so much more inside of me. But if happiness is a side effect to this release, I will keep quite still so it doesn't flee from me.

Struggle, dark, ambitious, wrong, eyes, kind, sigh, curls, wet, dead, thin, ache, burn, promise, bird, itch, obsess, voice, keep, always, oil, harsh.

Always like shards of glass and broken pins in thick molasses. I will never surrender the passion, I will never forget. Nothing's gone, but now...everything is different.